Sometimes I am appalled by my patients' diefication of their oncologists. They make them into idols and put all their hopes, sacrifices, desires at their feet. I find their intensity sometimes startling, but it makes perfect sense. I observe it with a clinical understanding: Ah, yes, the things we do to make it home.
Lately I have been swept into a relapsing remitting case of infatuation with one of the doctors. It seems possible that charisma is to blame, or my own need for distraction, but maybe I am looking for an all-powerful person too. This work is painful. Sometimes it seems unbearable. I am in a position of observing it. Oncologists are in a position, or possess the inclincation, to battle it. How dashing, how bold. At last, a hero to save our days.